I don't know what it is about the months leading up to spring, but it gets the wheels of my mind turning towards what is coming next.
Perhaps it is my eagerness for the change of season,
Or perhaps it is just variant restlessness that settles upon me.
Whatever the case, it has occurred to me (once again) that I would like to go back to school for my Masters.
I looked today and found that NYU just so happens to offer a Masters degree in I/O Psychology,
which is exactly what I would like to study.
But NYU is ridiculously expensive
And it would mean juggling a full time job (sometimes more than full time)
And a part time graduate school course load
Oh yeah, and I would have to take the GRE *ugh
Is it worth it?
Should I do it?
Who knows
But it's in consideration!
I'll keep you posted!
Friday, 5 February 2010
Wednesday, 3 February 2010
Dandelion dreams
It is time for dandelion dreams
Tripping down memories shadowy lanes
And meeting old friends
This is the time and the year
For things to come together
And some things to fall away
Dreams are lovely
And morphous as mercury
Shifting with hardly
The whisper of thought
Dreams change and reform
Though new and different
The past truths
Are held structuraly sound
In the end it
Was always you
Tripping down memories shadowy lanes
And meeting old friends
This is the time and the year
For things to come together
And some things to fall away
Dreams are lovely
And morphous as mercury
Shifting with hardly
The whisper of thought
Dreams change and reform
Though new and different
The past truths
Are held structuraly sound
In the end it
Was always you
April showers...
It seems that
April will bring more than just showers this year.
My beautiful, artistic, creative friend
Is going to stretch her wings
And fly north
To live dance with the big city
AND
She's going to come
And live with me
In a bright little nest
I hold my breath
And Hope
And wait and count the days
Til Spring
April will bring more than just showers this year.
My beautiful, artistic, creative friend
Is going to stretch her wings
And fly north
To live dance with the big city
AND
She's going to come
And live with me
In a bright little nest
I hold my breath
And Hope
And wait and count the days
Til Spring
Mad World
I really like this song.
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
What's in your fridge?
Drake & I watched the movie Food, Inc. and were totally inspired to transform our eating habits. It's something that we have been thinking about for awhile and this film gave us the firm kick in the seat of the pants that we needed.
The plan is to not eat/buy anything with preservatives (or those crazy derivatives that you can't pronounce and are a bit scary!).
So basically, that means that we can eat...um, not very much.
We pretty much have used up all of the items that fall into that category, and believe me the list is ridiculously long and includes some of my favorite things in life, ahem, pickles, coke... and most hot sauces! What shall I do?!?
We're going to be shopping the perimeters of grocery stores and looking for opportunities to utilize food coops, local markets, and maybe even buy part of a pig (which I have to admit seems odd to me).
Anyway, wish us luck! Let me know if you have any advise to help us on our way or any good, simple recipes that fall into this category.
Bon Appetit?
The plan is to not eat/buy anything with preservatives (or those crazy derivatives that you can't pronounce and are a bit scary!).
So basically, that means that we can eat...um, not very much.
We pretty much have used up all of the items that fall into that category, and believe me the list is ridiculously long and includes some of my favorite things in life, ahem, pickles, coke... and most hot sauces! What shall I do?!?
We're going to be shopping the perimeters of grocery stores and looking for opportunities to utilize food coops, local markets, and maybe even buy part of a pig (which I have to admit seems odd to me).
Anyway, wish us luck! Let me know if you have any advise to help us on our way or any good, simple recipes that fall into this category.
Bon Appetit?
Friday, 1 January 2010
Dancing in a new decade
As I sit and watch the snow drift down out the window of this antique home, I am astounded by the changes the last ten years have brought.
I have loved and I have lost.
I have learned and I have taught.
I have risked and I have gained.
And always love has found me,
It has come unfailingly from old friends and new
It has leaked around the edges,
Sometimes thought lost, but often refound
I am happy for the hard won friendships
For the sacrifices made
For the cities discovered
For moments travelled
Even when lost
I delight that I am in the home of a friend found
Surrounded by my second family
Loved
I look forward to the new year, decade, life
And the unexpected changes it will bring
I have many plans and hopes
I know that I am safe
And I am loved
No matter where the road may lead.
I have loved and I have lost.
I have learned and I have taught.
I have risked and I have gained.
And always love has found me,
It has come unfailingly from old friends and new
It has leaked around the edges,
Sometimes thought lost, but often refound
I am happy for the hard won friendships
For the sacrifices made
For the cities discovered
For moments travelled
Even when lost
I delight that I am in the home of a friend found
Surrounded by my second family
Loved
I look forward to the new year, decade, life
And the unexpected changes it will bring
I have many plans and hopes
I know that I am safe
And I am loved
No matter where the road may lead.
Wednesday, 23 December 2009
Nothing Ventured...
Failure sucks.
But trying new things means accepting a measure of failings
Growth has it's own learning curve
I hated speaking Spanish in high school because I could hear the failure
Instead of embracing and overcoming
I avoided
And stubbornly resisted
Now I speak little to no Spanish...and am going to Spain (eek)
I wish that I had risked a little bit more
I wish that I had been willing to fail, to sound silly, to be embarrassed
I want so much to be perfect
Yet perfection causes so much discord
It forces a 'right' answer, even when there may not be one
It causes endless stress and disillusion.
This year I've embraced new things:
Big work projects, hosting Christmas, planning a European adventure to name a few
And in all of them
I've had to accept a little (sometims a lot) of failure
But I've learned so many valuable things
I've grown and will do all of the above better, differently in the future
Perfection is rarely created
It usually happens when we are not thinking about it
When we are just being
In the moment
Together
Connected
I hope to risk more in the next year
To venture hope
To venture love, even when it seems foolish
To write letters, even though my handwriting makes me ashamed
And sometimes when I look back at them,
I am embarrassed by what I wrote
It's ok
I'm human
I do silly things
And make mistakes
And when I am old and rocking in a chair
It won't matter that I wasn't perfect
It will matter that I loved abundantly
The only way I know how
Which is sometimes messy
And human
And imperfect.
Merry Christmas,
Love to all!
But trying new things means accepting a measure of failings
Growth has it's own learning curve
I hated speaking Spanish in high school because I could hear the failure
Instead of embracing and overcoming
I avoided
And stubbornly resisted
Now I speak little to no Spanish...and am going to Spain (eek)
I wish that I had risked a little bit more
I wish that I had been willing to fail, to sound silly, to be embarrassed
I want so much to be perfect
Yet perfection causes so much discord
It forces a 'right' answer, even when there may not be one
It causes endless stress and disillusion.
This year I've embraced new things:
Big work projects, hosting Christmas, planning a European adventure to name a few
And in all of them
I've had to accept a little (sometims a lot) of failure
But I've learned so many valuable things
I've grown and will do all of the above better, differently in the future
Perfection is rarely created
It usually happens when we are not thinking about it
When we are just being
In the moment
Together
Connected
I hope to risk more in the next year
To venture hope
To venture love, even when it seems foolish
To write letters, even though my handwriting makes me ashamed
And sometimes when I look back at them,
I am embarrassed by what I wrote
It's ok
I'm human
I do silly things
And make mistakes
And when I am old and rocking in a chair
It won't matter that I wasn't perfect
It will matter that I loved abundantly
The only way I know how
Which is sometimes messy
And human
And imperfect.
Merry Christmas,
Love to all!
Thursday, 17 December 2009
Gingerbread House Crumbles
What can you say in the face of devastating sorrow; what words are there for the senseless loss of a child when the ghosts of laughter echo and swirl with dancing steps?
When Christmas brings a tiny body laid out on a cold table under knife and glass instead of tucked safely in bed, warm cuddled with fuzzy bear in arm and dreams of magic and fairies.
What do you say when life is stolen, unexpectedly, callously out of your tight grasp?
When your hands clasp empty air full of hollow memories already growing stale and frail.
What do you do?
What comfort is there to be found in these days of sorrow?
This has been a year of great joy, and even greater sorrow.
Trajedy twists the heart and the pen.
Life is fragile and every single moment matters.
To my friends and family,
I shout from the depths of my soul,
I love you, you matter, I'll miss you when you're gone.
Because life is tenuous and floats on a razor edge.
When Christmas brings a tiny body laid out on a cold table under knife and glass instead of tucked safely in bed, warm cuddled with fuzzy bear in arm and dreams of magic and fairies.
What do you say when life is stolen, unexpectedly, callously out of your tight grasp?
When your hands clasp empty air full of hollow memories already growing stale and frail.
What do you do?
What comfort is there to be found in these days of sorrow?
This has been a year of great joy, and even greater sorrow.
Trajedy twists the heart and the pen.
Life is fragile and every single moment matters.
To my friends and family,
I shout from the depths of my soul,
I love you, you matter, I'll miss you when you're gone.
Because life is tenuous and floats on a razor edge.
Thursday, 17 September 2009
Savor: Tuggin the soul and tasting the honey
Words move me.
It is not uncommon for me to devour 3,4,5,etc. books in a week.
And I love reading blogs written by riends, some I've never even met but have grown to love. I am inspired, encouraged, moved.
Believe me when I say, if you post something, I will read it, probably within a day or two that you post it. If you haven't sent me your blog, do!
One blog that I stumbled across and just started reading posted the below prayer and commentary. To say that I was deeply moved is an understatement.
Savor!
Prayer by George MacLeod
found on the blog http://www.reallivepreacher.com/
It is not just the interior of these walls,
It is our own inner beings you have renewed.
We are your temple not made with hands.
We are your body.
If every wall should crumble, and every church decay,
We are your habitation.
Nearer are you than breathing.
Closer than hands and feet.
Ours are the eyes with which you, in the mystery,
Look out in compassion on the world.
So we bless you for this place, for your directing of us,
Your redeeming of us, and your indwelling.
Take us outside the camp, Lord, outside holiness,
Out to where soldiers gamble, and thieves curse,
And nations clash at the cross-roads of the world.
So shall this building continue to be justified.
Commentary by http://www.reallivepreacher.com/
"Our decision to use George MacLeod’s wonderful prayer came from an honest hope that in the future, the center of our community would be God and people, and not our building. As much as I love our quiet refuge in the woods, a building is always a danger for a church. A building draws attention to itself. The demands and upkeep of a building are always threatening to take a greater portion of a church’s energy and resources. Because of this, it is the duty of a church to care for its building and be thankful for it, but also to hold it somewhat at arm’s length."
I hope that this moved you as well!
It is not uncommon for me to devour 3,4,5,etc. books in a week.
And I love reading blogs written by riends, some I've never even met but have grown to love. I am inspired, encouraged, moved.
Believe me when I say, if you post something, I will read it, probably within a day or two that you post it. If you haven't sent me your blog, do!
One blog that I stumbled across and just started reading posted the below prayer and commentary. To say that I was deeply moved is an understatement.
Savor!
Prayer by George MacLeod
found on the blog http://www.reallivepreacher.com/
It is not just the interior of these walls,
It is our own inner beings you have renewed.
We are your temple not made with hands.
We are your body.
If every wall should crumble, and every church decay,
We are your habitation.
Nearer are you than breathing.
Closer than hands and feet.
Ours are the eyes with which you, in the mystery,
Look out in compassion on the world.
So we bless you for this place, for your directing of us,
Your redeeming of us, and your indwelling.
Take us outside the camp, Lord, outside holiness,
Out to where soldiers gamble, and thieves curse,
And nations clash at the cross-roads of the world.
So shall this building continue to be justified.
Commentary by http://www.reallivepreacher.com/
"Our decision to use George MacLeod’s wonderful prayer came from an honest hope that in the future, the center of our community would be God and people, and not our building. As much as I love our quiet refuge in the woods, a building is always a danger for a church. A building draws attention to itself. The demands and upkeep of a building are always threatening to take a greater portion of a church’s energy and resources. Because of this, it is the duty of a church to care for its building and be thankful for it, but also to hold it somewhat at arm’s length."
I hope that this moved you as well!
Thursday, 10 September 2009
Suzy Homemaker, I am not!
Perhaps you have been able to glean from my previous postings that meander aimlessly from topic to topic that I am not an accomplished housekeeper.
I have never been very good at the philosophy of bite-sized pieces (no matter how much Ms V encouraged us to use that method); it is not the way that my brain works. I excel at projects.
Give me the task of organizing a closet and I will break it down, problem solve, and put it back together in ship-shape. Even a large,multi-faceted project will be broken down into small projects, but never vile daily repetitive actions.
This daily, straightening, cooking, laundry, scrubbing, sweeping, mopping, etc, etc, etc, the tasks that endlessly repeat in monosyllabic cycles that drone on into eternity bore me and don't provide enough substance as a project to sink my teeth into.
My best friend, almost since birth, is the opposite. She is the one that would study a little bit every night and by the end have accumulated a mass of knowledge. I would listen attentively in class(most of the time), participate and debate, and then the night before the test immerse myself in my notes recalling the conversations held in class for an hour or so or better yet play quiz game in study hall and call it a day.
In the grade on the curve Bible memorization, she would memorize 5 verses a day, I would come in with 30 verses memorized and promptly ignore it for weeks when I noticed that my line of heart stickers was falling behind. At the end, she beat me by probably 100 verses, but we both managed to memorize an astounding amount of Biblical content, something around 600 verses on top of the standards that everyone memorized (Ps. 91, Eph. 6 (armor of God anyone), Ps. 91, 139, 100, 1, etc, and of course the penultimate (I CAN do all things in Christ, I can DO all things in Christ, I can do ALL things through Christ, etc).
Oh and don't EVEN get me started on cooking, which we have tacitly agreed that I won't do, other than the occasional veggie chopping. Although I do make a killer, spicy cheese dip, mmm. Actually Mexican food in general I can pull off pretty successfully, probably b/c it's all a variation on a theme.
Some things in life work better systematically, done daily, instead of being ignored and left to pile up into mountains until you have no appropriate clean underwear for work, which unless I am mistaken I am down to my last pair.
Sometimes I feel like there SHOULD be someone home 100% of the time to manage the home b/c frankly there is a whole bunch of stuff to manage. People who think that Professional Home Managers (aka mommas) don't work and have the easy life are completely out of their MINDS! MY mom was a PHM, and she worked harder than about anyone I know, in the office or out. PHM's do work that requires top quality effort every single day, and they do it for the most part without PAY, RECOGNITION, APPRECIATION, or HELP. They do it out of LOVE, even when it's hard and frustrating and they feel helpless and alone. I know how long I would last at a job with the above qualifications.
This typically long and winding post is not just about who I have always been, but it is also about who I would like to become.
Now, I'm most likely never going to be that little bit at a time person, it's just not in my genetic wiring, BUT, I want to work on leaning a little more in that direction, in getting things a little more under control, in planning ahead and organizing in order to reduce marathon cleaning sessions, empty fridges, and days without clean underwear.
I don't want to change the core of who I am, but I want to adapt a little and learn from the amazing friends around me who have so many gifts and wisdom to share. I am better person for knowing them, and though I may never be Suzy Homemaker, I can at least be her working 'little sister' who learns new things along this journey called life.
BTW: Now that I have both of my winner's addresses, I plan to send out the gifts this weekend. Bon Appetit
I have never been very good at the philosophy of bite-sized pieces (no matter how much Ms V encouraged us to use that method); it is not the way that my brain works. I excel at projects.
Give me the task of organizing a closet and I will break it down, problem solve, and put it back together in ship-shape. Even a large,multi-faceted project will be broken down into small projects, but never vile daily repetitive actions.
This daily, straightening, cooking, laundry, scrubbing, sweeping, mopping, etc, etc, etc, the tasks that endlessly repeat in monosyllabic cycles that drone on into eternity bore me and don't provide enough substance as a project to sink my teeth into.
My best friend, almost since birth, is the opposite. She is the one that would study a little bit every night and by the end have accumulated a mass of knowledge. I would listen attentively in class(most of the time), participate and debate, and then the night before the test immerse myself in my notes recalling the conversations held in class for an hour or so or better yet play quiz game in study hall and call it a day.
In the grade on the curve Bible memorization, she would memorize 5 verses a day, I would come in with 30 verses memorized and promptly ignore it for weeks when I noticed that my line of heart stickers was falling behind. At the end, she beat me by probably 100 verses, but we both managed to memorize an astounding amount of Biblical content, something around 600 verses on top of the standards that everyone memorized (Ps. 91, Eph. 6 (armor of God anyone), Ps. 91, 139, 100, 1, etc, and of course the penultimate (I CAN do all things in Christ, I can DO all things in Christ, I can do ALL things through Christ, etc).
Oh and don't EVEN get me started on cooking, which we have tacitly agreed that I won't do, other than the occasional veggie chopping. Although I do make a killer, spicy cheese dip, mmm. Actually Mexican food in general I can pull off pretty successfully, probably b/c it's all a variation on a theme.
Some things in life work better systematically, done daily, instead of being ignored and left to pile up into mountains until you have no appropriate clean underwear for work, which unless I am mistaken I am down to my last pair.
Sometimes I feel like there SHOULD be someone home 100% of the time to manage the home b/c frankly there is a whole bunch of stuff to manage. People who think that Professional Home Managers (aka mommas) don't work and have the easy life are completely out of their MINDS! MY mom was a PHM, and she worked harder than about anyone I know, in the office or out. PHM's do work that requires top quality effort every single day, and they do it for the most part without PAY, RECOGNITION, APPRECIATION, or HELP. They do it out of LOVE, even when it's hard and frustrating and they feel helpless and alone. I know how long I would last at a job with the above qualifications.
This typically long and winding post is not just about who I have always been, but it is also about who I would like to become.
Now, I'm most likely never going to be that little bit at a time person, it's just not in my genetic wiring, BUT, I want to work on leaning a little more in that direction, in getting things a little more under control, in planning ahead and organizing in order to reduce marathon cleaning sessions, empty fridges, and days without clean underwear.
I don't want to change the core of who I am, but I want to adapt a little and learn from the amazing friends around me who have so many gifts and wisdom to share. I am better person for knowing them, and though I may never be Suzy Homemaker, I can at least be her working 'little sister' who learns new things along this journey called life.
BTW: Now that I have both of my winner's addresses, I plan to send out the gifts this weekend. Bon Appetit
Friday, 4 September 2009
Ladies & Gentlemen: The winners are:
Congrats you guys!
I hope that these books are both as marvelous as the movie...
You'll have to let me know if you attempt any of the recipes and how they turn out!
Maybe one day in the future, when the movie comes out to dvd land, I give one of those away too...hmm, what do you think?
Alright, so if you ladies would be so kind as to send me your addresses (you can send to my email if you would prefer to keep them private, ps_91@hotmail.com), I would be delighted to get your rewards on their way!
I enjoyed reading your stories and was reminded of similar moments of chaos in the kitchen. Thank goodness I married a chef, or else I would probably starve!
Mostly time in the kitchen reminds me of giggles and chatting and friends. I make for an excellent assistant in the kitchen, as long as I don't have to go anywhere near raw meat (ew) or anything with head still attached i.e. fish, ick!
I'm going to keep this one short, as the holiday weekend is creeping up around the corner, but I would like to mention one thing.
This morning as I was driving out to Princeton (I work at that office twice a month) the horizon was filled with the pulsing orb of a full moon sinking down into the bright green, rolling hills, while in my rearview mirror, the sun was just creeping up illuminating the New York City skyline in pinks and golds.
Breathtaking!
I hope that these books are both as marvelous as the movie...
You'll have to let me know if you attempt any of the recipes and how they turn out!
Maybe one day in the future, when the movie comes out to dvd land, I give one of those away too...hmm, what do you think?
Alright, so if you ladies would be so kind as to send me your addresses (you can send to my email if you would prefer to keep them private, ps_91@hotmail.com), I would be delighted to get your rewards on their way!
I enjoyed reading your stories and was reminded of similar moments of chaos in the kitchen. Thank goodness I married a chef, or else I would probably starve!
Mostly time in the kitchen reminds me of giggles and chatting and friends. I make for an excellent assistant in the kitchen, as long as I don't have to go anywhere near raw meat (ew) or anything with head still attached i.e. fish, ick!
I'm going to keep this one short, as the holiday weekend is creeping up around the corner, but I would like to mention one thing.
This morning as I was driving out to Princeton (I work at that office twice a month) the horizon was filled with the pulsing orb of a full moon sinking down into the bright green, rolling hills, while in my rearview mirror, the sun was just creeping up illuminating the New York City skyline in pinks and golds.
Breathtaking!
Thursday, 20 August 2009
Who doesn't like free stuff???
I've never done a give-away before, but I think they are fun so I've decided to do one.
I recently watched Julie & Julia & absolutely loved every second of it; it was exquisite and Meryl Streep was perfection!
I haven't read the book yet, but would like to...
So, I would like to do an online book club of sorts for this book. If you're interested leave a comment below with an amusing cooking/kitchen anecdote, either your own experience (preferred) or someone you know.
I'll randomly choose one of the comments for each of the prizes, which will be, drumroll please:
A copy of Julia & Julia (the book)
A copy of Mastering the Art of French Cooking Vol 1
I hope that the book is as marvelous as the film, and I highly recommend that everyone go out and see it. I can't wait to watch it again!
Hope to hear from all of you soon!
Note: You need to submit your response no later than September 1, 2009. Can't wait to hear your stories! :)
The 'book club' plan:
We'll break J&J into 4 sections.
We'll have 2 wks to read a section.
At the end of the 2 wks everyone will be welcome to submit a question for 'discussion'. I will post a question or 2 on each section.
Then everyone will have 1 wk to respond, then we'll start the next section.
So, 3 weeks total for each section should take us 12 wks to get through it.
You game?
Celebrations
I love an excuse to celebrate and this year our family has had a lot of them. Please be warned that I am very proud of my family, and I'm really not bragging, but my perspective might be a tiny bit skewed, as they are my family !
-Caleb is getting married to a lovely girl, also named Ashley in October, and I couldn't be more delighted to have a sister joining the crew as mom and I are woefully outnumbered. And she is really exceptional; I think he has chosen well. I can't wait to have her added to our growing ranks!
-My parents celebrated 30 years of being continuously married & in love...even when they didn't like each other very much! (Which seems to be one of the secrets of happy, long-term marriages.) It is such a profound blessing to watch their relationship as it has developed, changed, and grown through the years. They are an inspiration. I only hope that through the years Drake and I will follow their example and weave the beauty and pain into a tapestry worthy of a king. Love and marriage are hard things to do well, and to their credit they have excelled. Not to say that it was always easy or they were always experts or that they never had a fight. But they have taken those hardships and shared the heartache and bound themselves tighter together. They are constantly changing and evolving and becoming better people because of each other, for each other. I am in awe and so greatful.
-My dad is celebrating 50 years of life. He and my mom are in the midst of a fantastic trip driving around exploring the great north west in my mom's little convertible. From what I hear it's been a pretty great trip so far! It's the longest vacation my dad has ever taken. I think it's great that he is being rewarded for all of the time and energy that he has poured out into others through both his business and his personal life throughout the years. So many people would not be the same if it were not for him! He is a well-spring of wisdom and knowledge, all of us kids and probably a lot people in general know that they can go to my dad for all kinds of information and sage advise, which he gives generously. He is hardworking, reliable, genuine, kind, gracious, quirky, the best of all things. He was the kind of dad that patiently explained the algebra homework to me late at night in a way that made sense and stuck (at least at the time), even if it was late and it often was. He taugh us how to ride motorcycles and to really appreciate the outdoors. He took me to all the father daughter events and made me feel both special and beautiful in the way that only a father can. I'm so proud of my dad, the man that he has become. I'm proud of the example and leader that he's been in the community for doing the right thing, even when it's hard or unpopular. And for the supportive and loving husband that he's been for my mom. He's a great guy,; you'd be lucky to get to know him.
-Josh, my oldest brother, turned 30 this year! He really seems to have reached his stride. He has had a plethora of diverse experiences and challenges that have enabled him to be an exceptional person. He is successful in his career, in part because he knows how to connect with others, to listen to them, to be empathetic, and to help them. He goes out of his way to invest time with our grandma, who lost my grandpa a few years ago and my uncle, who has some severe disabilities due to a car accident early in his life. He has learned to be thoughtful and considerate. He has opened the door for new possibilities by returning to school, and I'm excited to see where his life goes in the next 5-10 years!
-My 5 year college reunion, my 10 year high school reunion, and my 10 year DTS, YWAM reunion are all this year. It is hard to believe that so much time has passed and so much has happened. I am excited to get together with the old DTS crew and catch up on life! It's great to look back and remember the happy memories, the people that I have adored (and still adore), and to reconnect a little. Life is short but vivid!
So many reasons to celebrate family and friends!
Bring on the dessert!
-Caleb is getting married to a lovely girl, also named Ashley in October, and I couldn't be more delighted to have a sister joining the crew as mom and I are woefully outnumbered. And she is really exceptional; I think he has chosen well. I can't wait to have her added to our growing ranks!
-My parents celebrated 30 years of being continuously married & in love...even when they didn't like each other very much! (Which seems to be one of the secrets of happy, long-term marriages.) It is such a profound blessing to watch their relationship as it has developed, changed, and grown through the years. They are an inspiration. I only hope that through the years Drake and I will follow their example and weave the beauty and pain into a tapestry worthy of a king. Love and marriage are hard things to do well, and to their credit they have excelled. Not to say that it was always easy or they were always experts or that they never had a fight. But they have taken those hardships and shared the heartache and bound themselves tighter together. They are constantly changing and evolving and becoming better people because of each other, for each other. I am in awe and so greatful.
-My dad is celebrating 50 years of life. He and my mom are in the midst of a fantastic trip driving around exploring the great north west in my mom's little convertible. From what I hear it's been a pretty great trip so far! It's the longest vacation my dad has ever taken. I think it's great that he is being rewarded for all of the time and energy that he has poured out into others through both his business and his personal life throughout the years. So many people would not be the same if it were not for him! He is a well-spring of wisdom and knowledge, all of us kids and probably a lot people in general know that they can go to my dad for all kinds of information and sage advise, which he gives generously. He is hardworking, reliable, genuine, kind, gracious, quirky, the best of all things. He was the kind of dad that patiently explained the algebra homework to me late at night in a way that made sense and stuck (at least at the time), even if it was late and it often was. He taugh us how to ride motorcycles and to really appreciate the outdoors. He took me to all the father daughter events and made me feel both special and beautiful in the way that only a father can. I'm so proud of my dad, the man that he has become. I'm proud of the example and leader that he's been in the community for doing the right thing, even when it's hard or unpopular. And for the supportive and loving husband that he's been for my mom. He's a great guy,; you'd be lucky to get to know him.
-Josh, my oldest brother, turned 30 this year! He really seems to have reached his stride. He has had a plethora of diverse experiences and challenges that have enabled him to be an exceptional person. He is successful in his career, in part because he knows how to connect with others, to listen to them, to be empathetic, and to help them. He goes out of his way to invest time with our grandma, who lost my grandpa a few years ago and my uncle, who has some severe disabilities due to a car accident early in his life. He has learned to be thoughtful and considerate. He has opened the door for new possibilities by returning to school, and I'm excited to see where his life goes in the next 5-10 years!
-My 5 year college reunion, my 10 year high school reunion, and my 10 year DTS, YWAM reunion are all this year. It is hard to believe that so much time has passed and so much has happened. I am excited to get together with the old DTS crew and catch up on life! It's great to look back and remember the happy memories, the people that I have adored (and still adore), and to reconnect a little. Life is short but vivid!
So many reasons to celebrate family and friends!
Bring on the dessert!
Wednesday, 19 August 2009
Standing in the sunlight laughing...
IT makes my heart melt like butter to see an older couple walking down the street holding hands. I imagine all the secret moments shared between them, the whispers, the longing, the ache of separation, the intimacy, the loneliness, the ecstasy and the sorrow that mingles and blends life together like a perfectly prepared meal. I linger for a moment thinking of a shared life, a oneness that comes as marital relationships age.
The longer I am married, the more I am humbled by it's mystery and complexity, and I am in awe of those that have lived and loved and shared their life fully with another. It's profound and heart-stopping, jaw-droppingly beautiful.
I hope you catch these moments too, and they take your breath away.
I hope you catch these moments too, and they take your breath away.
MY ODE to the NYPL
Did I mention that I am a card holder and obsessed user of the New York Public Library?
The closest branch is less than a block from my office, which is ideal, luxurious, and at times distracting. I am an avid reader, and have seemingly increased my voracious capacities for the ‘sport’ during my 2 hour daily, round trip commute. Needless to say, I have plowed through a lot of literature, and re-read more books than I care to mention.
The proximity of this library is a preventative measure to my visiting an adorable little book store called Argosy books (about 3 blocks from the office) or Barnes & Noble (about 5 blocks from the office) and spending my hard earned dollars on more books. Not only am I delighted with the miniscule distance of this small sanctuary, but I am overwhelmed with the capabilities, function, and extensive options available.
For instance, I can put any book, movie, cd on my hold list and it will be shipped to the most convenient location for me to pick up at my leisure. And this marvelous city has everything: obscure book titles, new movies, old movies, music of all genres and ages. The world is quite literally at my fingertips. And added to all this glory, there is a cherry on the top, I can return anything to any library in Manhattan! Bliss!
Cheers to all the Nerds out there that read right along with me; if you make it out to visit I’ll take you to my favorite library in the city. It’s heavenly.
Oh, they even have a Library themed hotel (one day I plan to stay there!).
The closest branch is less than a block from my office, which is ideal, luxurious, and at times distracting. I am an avid reader, and have seemingly increased my voracious capacities for the ‘sport’ during my 2 hour daily, round trip commute. Needless to say, I have plowed through a lot of literature, and re-read more books than I care to mention.
The proximity of this library is a preventative measure to my visiting an adorable little book store called Argosy books (about 3 blocks from the office) or Barnes & Noble (about 5 blocks from the office) and spending my hard earned dollars on more books. Not only am I delighted with the miniscule distance of this small sanctuary, but I am overwhelmed with the capabilities, function, and extensive options available.
For instance, I can put any book, movie, cd on my hold list and it will be shipped to the most convenient location for me to pick up at my leisure. And this marvelous city has everything: obscure book titles, new movies, old movies, music of all genres and ages. The world is quite literally at my fingertips. And added to all this glory, there is a cherry on the top, I can return anything to any library in Manhattan! Bliss!
Cheers to all the Nerds out there that read right along with me; if you make it out to visit I’ll take you to my favorite library in the city. It’s heavenly.
Oh, they even have a Library themed hotel (one day I plan to stay there!).
Saturday, 15 August 2009
Hopping the Pond
Drake and I have big plans for a big trip.
Like most most things we do in life, it's pretty ambitious.
Drake's never hopped the pond, and I've never been to most of these places.
What an adventure!
We've got the beginnings of an itinerary that makes my heart skip a bit to think about.
London, Scotland, Brighton, Holmstead Manor, Paris (on my birthday), Montpelier, Figueres, and Barcelona, ah what a lovely refrain! It dances through my mind and touches my lips with a smile.
Oh the places we'll go, the food we'll eat, the people we'll meet along the way.
We are excited to take the sleeper train to Scotland, to cuddle in front a warm fire in a distant inn sipping wine and telling secrets.
The food in France is a warm welcoming light calling us home. And really, what could be more romantic for a birthday celebration than eating warm croissants, strolling down the seine, indulging in a four hour dinner, and retiring to a quaint Parisian hotel for the evening?
We can't wait to get lost, to explore, to try new things, to discover and laugh our way across continents, countries, and cultures.
I promise to take photos, although it's hard to capture the moments (sometimes I wish I had a photographer). And to write a bit.
I'm sure there will be more to come on this planning, as it seems to be the on my mind a lot.
Please journey with us vicariously!
Friday, 14 August 2009
Under Pressure: Da Dah Dah Da De DA DUM
Look who's back from her summer hiatus! It's been a long glorious summer so far, and I'm excited to ride on out until Labor Day (which is a camping wknd this year, hooray!) At some point, I may get around to documenting some of the fun, but I've really enjoyed embracing the moments and trying hard not to worry about getting the moments on film or paper.
In that vein, I have a subject that I would like to address today:
It was another crushing commute slammed simultaneously against the backside of a large gassy man, a woman who's hair was reacting to the severe humidity we've been 'blessed' with this August that kept reaching out and touching me, and a screaming child who wanted nothing more than to touch my interesting tights. Needless to say, I was zoning out hard core to the music pumping serenely from my purple ipod (the love of my life) and trying not to lose it when a thought occured to me.
I put a whole of pressure on myself. To me this was a bit of a novel idea, perhaps it was the intensity of the situation that put things into focus. It may also be that I found a list of goals (about 100 of them) that I would like to achieve over the next year to be a better, more well-rounded person. I realized that I have these lofty expectations of myself to be perfect, always. And, as I'm sure all of my readers are aware, I am far, far from perfect, which effectively means, that I feel guilty and stressed a whole lot.
I realize that some measure of self-expectation is important, otherwise nothing gets done. But as a woman, I think we all put way too much stress on ourselves to be perfect.
I need to take a step back and realize that I don't have to be a superstar at keeping in touch with everyone, I don't have to look like I stepped out of a fasion shoot every day on my way to work, I don't always need to say yes at work...sometimes it's good to say no.
The house is not going to blow up if it's a little messy. Our lives won't fall apart if the laundry isn't always done. It's okay if the books aren't organzied, wait scratch that...that one actually does matter to my happy meter. :)
You get what I mean though, right?
I don't always need to be right, or on time, or communicate effectively, or keep the house perfect, or keep my relationships perfect.
I need to do the very best job that I can do, at the times that are appropriate to focus on these jobs. I need a balanced lifestyle and I need to be okay if something slips through the cracks.
Because it happens to me, it happens alot.
I hope you can relate. Life can be a big challenge sometimes, and we shouldn't be so hard on ourselves.
Thanks for reading; love to hear your thoughts on the matter:
In that vein, I have a subject that I would like to address today:
It was another crushing commute slammed simultaneously against the backside of a large gassy man, a woman who's hair was reacting to the severe humidity we've been 'blessed' with this August that kept reaching out and touching me, and a screaming child who wanted nothing more than to touch my interesting tights. Needless to say, I was zoning out hard core to the music pumping serenely from my purple ipod (the love of my life) and trying not to lose it when a thought occured to me.
I put a whole of pressure on myself. To me this was a bit of a novel idea, perhaps it was the intensity of the situation that put things into focus. It may also be that I found a list of goals (about 100 of them) that I would like to achieve over the next year to be a better, more well-rounded person. I realized that I have these lofty expectations of myself to be perfect, always. And, as I'm sure all of my readers are aware, I am far, far from perfect, which effectively means, that I feel guilty and stressed a whole lot.
I realize that some measure of self-expectation is important, otherwise nothing gets done. But as a woman, I think we all put way too much stress on ourselves to be perfect.
I need to take a step back and realize that I don't have to be a superstar at keeping in touch with everyone, I don't have to look like I stepped out of a fasion shoot every day on my way to work, I don't always need to say yes at work...sometimes it's good to say no.
The house is not going to blow up if it's a little messy. Our lives won't fall apart if the laundry isn't always done. It's okay if the books aren't organzied, wait scratch that...that one actually does matter to my happy meter. :)
You get what I mean though, right?
I don't always need to be right, or on time, or communicate effectively, or keep the house perfect, or keep my relationships perfect.
I need to do the very best job that I can do, at the times that are appropriate to focus on these jobs. I need a balanced lifestyle and I need to be okay if something slips through the cracks.
Because it happens to me, it happens alot.
I hope you can relate. Life can be a big challenge sometimes, and we shouldn't be so hard on ourselves.
Thanks for reading; love to hear your thoughts on the matter:
Monday, 4 May 2009
What I really meant to write
I'm just now getting around to write what I had intended to write when I started out. That happens to me, a lot actually.
Anyway, I'm going to keep this brief, because it's getting late and the boys in my life are already snoring.
I wanted to mention this weekend, because we went on an adventure.
It was Drake's birthday, and we have been itching to get out of town for awhile. We can both only go so long without really being in nature.
So, we rented a Zipcar (which is brilliant!) and happened to be a canary yellow mini cooper converitble. We picked up our wheels late Friday and started out early Saturday for wherever the road may lead.
We made a quick stop at DD (dunkin donuts, my friend) for some caffeine...and a donut or two and sped off toward the unknown. We spent the day exploring, stopping when something struck our fancy. We found a shattered piano that had clearly been rotting away in the elements for quite some time, we found a rough hewn bridge, missing a few slats, and a path closely covered by trees that seemed to lead to a fairie village. It was peaceful to lay on the slatted bridge and listen to the brook babbling below us. to soak in the sun, and read the pages of a well-worn book aloud. It was nothing, yet it was everything.
We had no idea where we were, what state we were in. We had no agendas, no phones, no maps. We looked at everything with our eyes wide open, nothing. no blinders of expectation on. It felt good to just be, and be together. To look at the world around us, the bright blue sky above with cotton candy clouds, and the vibrant, verdant green trees criss-crossing far above our heads. We went to places that only locals ever see; we got lost and we found more than if we had been searching. I love the road less travelled; I love the adventure of the unknown and the unexpected. I like taking away the constraints of an agenda so that I am not thinking about what's next but thinking about what's happening right in that moment.
'Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail'
It may not be your idea of a vacation or holiday, but for Drake and I with our busy lives ruled by train schedules and work schedules and life schedules, it was a breath of fresh air. We felt free, if only for a moment. Free to do anything, free to conquer the world.
Anyway, I'm going to keep this brief, because it's getting late and the boys in my life are already snoring.
I wanted to mention this weekend, because we went on an adventure.
It was Drake's birthday, and we have been itching to get out of town for awhile. We can both only go so long without really being in nature.
So, we rented a Zipcar (which is brilliant!) and happened to be a canary yellow mini cooper converitble. We picked up our wheels late Friday and started out early Saturday for wherever the road may lead.
We made a quick stop at DD (dunkin donuts, my friend) for some caffeine...and a donut or two and sped off toward the unknown. We spent the day exploring, stopping when something struck our fancy. We found a shattered piano that had clearly been rotting away in the elements for quite some time, we found a rough hewn bridge, missing a few slats, and a path closely covered by trees that seemed to lead to a fairie village. It was peaceful to lay on the slatted bridge and listen to the brook babbling below us. to soak in the sun, and read the pages of a well-worn book aloud. It was nothing, yet it was everything.
We had no idea where we were, what state we were in. We had no agendas, no phones, no maps. We looked at everything with our eyes wide open, nothing. no blinders of expectation on. It felt good to just be, and be together. To look at the world around us, the bright blue sky above with cotton candy clouds, and the vibrant, verdant green trees criss-crossing far above our heads. We went to places that only locals ever see; we got lost and we found more than if we had been searching. I love the road less travelled; I love the adventure of the unknown and the unexpected. I like taking away the constraints of an agenda so that I am not thinking about what's next but thinking about what's happening right in that moment.
'Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail'
It may not be your idea of a vacation or holiday, but for Drake and I with our busy lives ruled by train schedules and work schedules and life schedules, it was a breath of fresh air. We felt free, if only for a moment. Free to do anything, free to conquer the world.
The tale of the little red couch...
There once was a small, bright red couch, and it was beautiful. I had never before seen such a beautiful couch, and I just knew that it would be the perfect addition to my room. It didn't bother me in the slightest that my room was slighty packed with furniture as it was, mere details!
So, I talked my mom into it; love at first sight is such a rare thing after all! So we paid the money, I think something in the range of $40, and we packed it up in the van and carted it home. My very practical dad and grandmother both had strong reactions to the purhcase as well; however, there were reactions were far less enthusiastic. My dad flatly refused to bring it into the house! Somehow I coerced someone to help me carry it in, probably one of my siblings and promptly began devising schemes or how to best utilize it. It was perfect!
The couch happily resided in my room at home for several years, and I happily returned whenever possible. Ar one point, my couch was on loan temporarily to my brother while he was in college, but when I took a road trip with my college roomie (and one of my favorite people on the planet) in her parent's suburban back to Kansas, my brother fortuitously had found a replacement, thus we decided to throw, or probably more correctly, jam that little red couch right into the back of that SUV. Then, once it made it safely down the long road back to Pennsylvania, we had to figure out a way to cram it into a very small dorm room, one that happened to be jam packed already with a futon, 2 dressers, 2 desks, 2 beds, a fridge, a tv, you name it... Needless to say, it took some careful planning, but we managed it. And oddly, the friendly couch seemed the perfect fit; we couldn't imagine life without it. Of course, we weren't able to rearrange at all afterwards, because there was literally only one way that it would work! And work it did, as we hosted many, many of our college friends that labeled our room the black hole of procrastination; we kept up a nice steady stream of guests enticed by the relaxed atmosphere, endless snacks, and good company. It was a very happy time for the little red couch.
The little red couch then moved to the cute apartment on Apple drive, where it was happy to finally get a little leg room! And those lovely friends made at the dorms, continued to visit and grace it's soft cushions. Becca and I explored the depths of our minds and hearts; as well as, continue our blatant procrastination on it's cushy depths.
After graduation it was time to get life on the road, so the little red couch was carefully packed up into a large moving van and carted down to grand old North Carolina where it perched in it's birdcage apartment. Little red couch was very happy with the move and adored the lovely view of the trees out the balcony windows. One very blissful year was spent in this abode, where the little red couch met it's owner's greatest love. They were one happy little family.
By then the little red couch was ready to move to a more urban area and was delighted to find a an old house with wooden floors in the historic district. The little red couch also made a new friend at this place, a small dog that he would deeply love. He was a little sad that he no longer had a view of the park, but he was excited to be in the midst of everything that was happening! And he was delighted to be so close to the baseball park and get to watch the fireworks every weekend in the summer!
One day the call of big city life became too great, and the little red couch packed his bags for the big city. He was stunned to find himself in a giant loft with beautiful windows; it was a dream and so much better than the online photos. What a place, what a city! But the little red couch still missed the trees and the view, and he missed the friends that he made along the way.
Where will the little red couch move to next? Who knows? He knows that life is an adventure and is excited to see where the road leads!
So, I talked my mom into it; love at first sight is such a rare thing after all! So we paid the money, I think something in the range of $40, and we packed it up in the van and carted it home. My very practical dad and grandmother both had strong reactions to the purhcase as well; however, there were reactions were far less enthusiastic. My dad flatly refused to bring it into the house! Somehow I coerced someone to help me carry it in, probably one of my siblings and promptly began devising schemes or how to best utilize it. It was perfect!
The couch happily resided in my room at home for several years, and I happily returned whenever possible. Ar one point, my couch was on loan temporarily to my brother while he was in college, but when I took a road trip with my college roomie (and one of my favorite people on the planet) in her parent's suburban back to Kansas, my brother fortuitously had found a replacement, thus we decided to throw, or probably more correctly, jam that little red couch right into the back of that SUV. Then, once it made it safely down the long road back to Pennsylvania, we had to figure out a way to cram it into a very small dorm room, one that happened to be jam packed already with a futon, 2 dressers, 2 desks, 2 beds, a fridge, a tv, you name it... Needless to say, it took some careful planning, but we managed it. And oddly, the friendly couch seemed the perfect fit; we couldn't imagine life without it. Of course, we weren't able to rearrange at all afterwards, because there was literally only one way that it would work! And work it did, as we hosted many, many of our college friends that labeled our room the black hole of procrastination; we kept up a nice steady stream of guests enticed by the relaxed atmosphere, endless snacks, and good company. It was a very happy time for the little red couch.
The little red couch then moved to the cute apartment on Apple drive, where it was happy to finally get a little leg room! And those lovely friends made at the dorms, continued to visit and grace it's soft cushions. Becca and I explored the depths of our minds and hearts; as well as, continue our blatant procrastination on it's cushy depths.
After graduation it was time to get life on the road, so the little red couch was carefully packed up into a large moving van and carted down to grand old North Carolina where it perched in it's birdcage apartment. Little red couch was very happy with the move and adored the lovely view of the trees out the balcony windows. One very blissful year was spent in this abode, where the little red couch met it's owner's greatest love. They were one happy little family.
By then the little red couch was ready to move to a more urban area and was delighted to find a an old house with wooden floors in the historic district. The little red couch also made a new friend at this place, a small dog that he would deeply love. He was a little sad that he no longer had a view of the park, but he was excited to be in the midst of everything that was happening! And he was delighted to be so close to the baseball park and get to watch the fireworks every weekend in the summer!
One day the call of big city life became too great, and the little red couch packed his bags for the big city. He was stunned to find himself in a giant loft with beautiful windows; it was a dream and so much better than the online photos. What a place, what a city! But the little red couch still missed the trees and the view, and he missed the friends that he made along the way.
Where will the little red couch move to next? Who knows? He knows that life is an adventure and is excited to see where the road leads!
Just a silly doll...a tribute
When I was about 3, my family moved to quaint little farming town in the Midwest; they didn't really know anyone and they had strange ideas brought down from the big city (Chicago) where my dad had been going to school to become a Chiropractor, which at the time and in that place was....let's just say suspicious to the locals. My folks had strange ideas about eating organic and healthy long before it was trendy, and they were viewed as a bit odd by a community that's handful of fast food restaurants quite unmistakably reflected their diets. They were outsiders in a tight knit community, with little money or social capital.
Here in this strange and complex world a lifevest was tossed into my pool in the form of a catalog. It was a catalog for historical dolls; these dolls, unlike most that I had encountered thus far, were real little girls with stories throughout American history.
There were 3 in the beginning, Kirsten, Samantha, and Molly; they were all from different historical periods and had the most incredible collections of fascinating things. Back in these days, before they were bought out by Fisher Price, this company went by the name Pleasant Company, and they were amazing. The quality of their products was unparalleled
My first and favorite doll came along shortly after we moved into the house on Third street, and I can remember the way she looked in the box, perfect, smiling, beautiful! I was so excited to have my friend with me. I loved her tea set with the delicate rosebud pattern, but mostly I loved her stories and her personality. She was a friend and a playmate. I read, and re-read the books, and I pored over the magazines contemplating what it would have been like to live back in the turn of the century, who I would have been, if I would have had the beautiful practiced penmanship instead of my lousy scribbles.
Samantha was my dear friend; it was through her story that I learned that character in books can be companions. I learned to share the adventures and to see the world through another's eyes. I learned to feel the heartaches and to learn the lessons as well as to celebrate the surprises along the way.
This year, they decided to retire Samantha. It feels strange to think about an integral part of my childhood as irreplacable; it is very much like losing a friend and exposing the illusion. I was able to visit the store and see her display at Christmastime; it felt much like a visitation for a long lost friend that was gone forever.
I was glad that I got to say goodbye.
When my mom came to visit, we made a trip to the store at Rockefeller Center. And we walked hand in hand down memory lane, reminiscing. Samantha was no longer there, and I think we both felt the dull ache of her absence.
It probably seems silly that a grown women grieves for something like a doll, but she was more than that to me, she was my friend and my lifeline. And I'm grateful that my family, that didn't have a whole lot of money, found a way to provide such a special friend for me; it wouldn't have been the same without her.
Here in this strange and complex world a lifevest was tossed into my pool in the form of a catalog. It was a catalog for historical dolls; these dolls, unlike most that I had encountered thus far, were real little girls with stories throughout American history.
There were 3 in the beginning, Kirsten, Samantha, and Molly; they were all from different historical periods and had the most incredible collections of fascinating things. Back in these days, before they were bought out by Fisher Price, this company went by the name Pleasant Company, and they were amazing. The quality of their products was unparalleled
My first and favorite doll came along shortly after we moved into the house on Third street, and I can remember the way she looked in the box, perfect, smiling, beautiful! I was so excited to have my friend with me. I loved her tea set with the delicate rosebud pattern, but mostly I loved her stories and her personality. She was a friend and a playmate. I read, and re-read the books, and I pored over the magazines contemplating what it would have been like to live back in the turn of the century, who I would have been, if I would have had the beautiful practiced penmanship instead of my lousy scribbles.
Samantha was my dear friend; it was through her story that I learned that character in books can be companions. I learned to share the adventures and to see the world through another's eyes. I learned to feel the heartaches and to learn the lessons as well as to celebrate the surprises along the way.
This year, they decided to retire Samantha. It feels strange to think about an integral part of my childhood as irreplacable; it is very much like losing a friend and exposing the illusion. I was able to visit the store and see her display at Christmastime; it felt much like a visitation for a long lost friend that was gone forever.
I was glad that I got to say goodbye.
When my mom came to visit, we made a trip to the store at Rockefeller Center. And we walked hand in hand down memory lane, reminiscing. Samantha was no longer there, and I think we both felt the dull ache of her absence.
It probably seems silly that a grown women grieves for something like a doll, but she was more than that to me, she was my friend and my lifeline. And I'm grateful that my family, that didn't have a whole lot of money, found a way to provide such a special friend for me; it wouldn't have been the same without her.
Friday, 24 April 2009
Thankful for everything? Even Exes
I was thinking the other day about exes; not any of mind in particular, just the concept of exes.
And I had this weird realization that I should be thankful for all of Drake's exes, and even all of mine.
This concept took awhile to think through, but I think that I have found a truth.
When I think about my personal previous relationships, I realize that everyone that I have been close to along the way has shaped who I have become as a person. Each person shared themselves with me, and I, sometimes begrudgingly shared who I was in return.
In the process, I learned a lot of things, like how to communicate (and more importantly how not to communicate), how to keep hold of who I am and not just meld myself to whoever I'm with to avoid conflict. I've learned how to fight, which believe it or not was something that I didn't really know how to do and is a really important aspect of relationships. No matter how much you love a person, you are two distinct people and will inevitably disagree about things in life's journey.
I learned along the way what elements I really wanted and needed in another person, and I also realized how important it was to find someone that was able to bring out the best in me and vice versa. Every relationship that ended was lacking something; they did not "grace for grace and love for love allow". Yet each person along the way helped shape me into a better person, a kinder person; they gave me the gift of friendship and comraderie.
I don't regret the life I have lived or the relationships that I have held. I am thankful for the friendships and the lessons learned. And I don't regret the relationships that Drake has held, because I know that he has learned these same lessons along the way; althought sometimes I have to remind myself of this fact!
And I had this weird realization that I should be thankful for all of Drake's exes, and even all of mine.
This concept took awhile to think through, but I think that I have found a truth.
When I think about my personal previous relationships, I realize that everyone that I have been close to along the way has shaped who I have become as a person. Each person shared themselves with me, and I, sometimes begrudgingly shared who I was in return.
In the process, I learned a lot of things, like how to communicate (and more importantly how not to communicate), how to keep hold of who I am and not just meld myself to whoever I'm with to avoid conflict. I've learned how to fight, which believe it or not was something that I didn't really know how to do and is a really important aspect of relationships. No matter how much you love a person, you are two distinct people and will inevitably disagree about things in life's journey.
I learned along the way what elements I really wanted and needed in another person, and I also realized how important it was to find someone that was able to bring out the best in me and vice versa. Every relationship that ended was lacking something; they did not "grace for grace and love for love allow". Yet each person along the way helped shape me into a better person, a kinder person; they gave me the gift of friendship and comraderie.
I don't regret the life I have lived or the relationships that I have held. I am thankful for the friendships and the lessons learned. And I don't regret the relationships that Drake has held, because I know that he has learned these same lessons along the way; althought sometimes I have to remind myself of this fact!
Friday, 17 April 2009
Falling in LOVE
All you need is love, right?
I tumbled out of the subway for the first time one sweltering, summer day 1998 and was instantly overwhelmed by the World Trade Center buildings that towered over me. This strange world, seemingly it's own universe took my breath away; it was love at first sight!
I remember the feeling of awe that a building could be so massive and imposing!
We lucked upon a Broadway lunch performance of Miss Saigon and Les Miserables happening for the employees of the towers; we quickly snagged front row seats and were treated to outstanding performances to some of the most desirable shows on Broadway.
We then walked the from Battery Park, where we glimpsed majestic Lady Liberty welcoming the tired and the poor. We trooped through all kinds of neighborhoods and stumbled into Washington Square Park and watched old men battling it out on worn cement chess tables. I remember not being able to take my eyes off some strange guy dancing down the street listening to whatever tunes were blasting in his Walkman (these were pre-ipod days, my friend!)
We spent most of our time in the city trying to figure out where to go and subsequently did little more than wander aimlessly. But I loved every second, the people watching, the clothing, the architecture, the way the neighborhoods changed and shifted, the colors, I loved it all.
I can't believe that we came so unprepared for this place, but we managed to see a whole lot, anyway. We saw the WTC towers, Battery Park and Statue of Liberty (from a distance), Washington Sq Park, the Empire State Building (we didn't go up in it, though), Central Park and a Ralph Lauren photo shoot. We also managed to eat bagels, pizza, and hot dogs...the New York trifecta.
Every moment was new, each experience was unique, and I loved every second. Sure, we had some serious disappointments, like finding out that the Salvation Army we had searched out so diligently was the headquarters and had no clothes! We also suffered serious blisters on our feet from the strenuous walking (from lack of planning), but I wouldn't have had it any other way. What an adventure, what a way to fall in love!
I tumbled out of the subway for the first time one sweltering, summer day 1998 and was instantly overwhelmed by the World Trade Center buildings that towered over me. This strange world, seemingly it's own universe took my breath away; it was love at first sight!
I remember the feeling of awe that a building could be so massive and imposing!
We lucked upon a Broadway lunch performance of Miss Saigon and Les Miserables happening for the employees of the towers; we quickly snagged front row seats and were treated to outstanding performances to some of the most desirable shows on Broadway.
We then walked the from Battery Park, where we glimpsed majestic Lady Liberty welcoming the tired and the poor. We trooped through all kinds of neighborhoods and stumbled into Washington Square Park and watched old men battling it out on worn cement chess tables. I remember not being able to take my eyes off some strange guy dancing down the street listening to whatever tunes were blasting in his Walkman (these were pre-ipod days, my friend!)
We spent most of our time in the city trying to figure out where to go and subsequently did little more than wander aimlessly. But I loved every second, the people watching, the clothing, the architecture, the way the neighborhoods changed and shifted, the colors, I loved it all.
I can't believe that we came so unprepared for this place, but we managed to see a whole lot, anyway. We saw the WTC towers, Battery Park and Statue of Liberty (from a distance), Washington Sq Park, the Empire State Building (we didn't go up in it, though), Central Park and a Ralph Lauren photo shoot. We also managed to eat bagels, pizza, and hot dogs...the New York trifecta.
Every moment was new, each experience was unique, and I loved every second. Sure, we had some serious disappointments, like finding out that the Salvation Army we had searched out so diligently was the headquarters and had no clothes! We also suffered serious blisters on our feet from the strenuous walking (from lack of planning), but I wouldn't have had it any other way. What an adventure, what a way to fall in love!
Thursday, 16 April 2009
Decades
I've recently been thinking that next year would mark the 10 year anniversary of my graduation...I have some ideas for what would be fun to do for it. I'm not ready to share yet, but you can bet that it's a little more unconventional than meeting for coctails in a generic hotel coference room! ;)
To be perfectly honest, it's not really my class reunion, as I didn't graduate with them, but I was there in spirit. Most of these people I had known from kindergarten on...some of them quite a bit longer, some a few years less. But because we had such small classes, they became a second family, bonded like cement through our years together. We shared classrooms with the year above and the year below in a rotating basis, and they too became a part of this strange conglomeration of motley friends. We had our fair share of disputes and arguments, but mostly we laughed and played and learned and shared our ideas. One could never stay angry for too long, because there were only so many people. We were forced to learn how to mend our fences and moderate our tempers. I remember standing up for my friends against other kids and even teachers, and I also remember poignant memories of others standing up for me. I fondly remember the great teachers that knew how to encourage, inspire and challenge us, that lit the fire of inspiration in each of us. And I remember the teachers that never quite figured out what to do with us; we were not an easy crew! Most of us had been in the system long enough that we knew how to really work it; each new teacher was fair game for our techniques and oh how the battles raged!
A lot has happened and changed in all of our lives over the last 10 years. I am excited to reunite; I hope everyone gets excited and decides to participate and reminisce. I want to remember all the stories and laugh at how truly ridiculous we were.
To be perfectly honest, it's not really my class reunion, as I didn't graduate with them, but I was there in spirit. Most of these people I had known from kindergarten on...some of them quite a bit longer, some a few years less. But because we had such small classes, they became a second family, bonded like cement through our years together. We shared classrooms with the year above and the year below in a rotating basis, and they too became a part of this strange conglomeration of motley friends. We had our fair share of disputes and arguments, but mostly we laughed and played and learned and shared our ideas. One could never stay angry for too long, because there were only so many people. We were forced to learn how to mend our fences and moderate our tempers. I remember standing up for my friends against other kids and even teachers, and I also remember poignant memories of others standing up for me. I fondly remember the great teachers that knew how to encourage, inspire and challenge us, that lit the fire of inspiration in each of us. And I remember the teachers that never quite figured out what to do with us; we were not an easy crew! Most of us had been in the system long enough that we knew how to really work it; each new teacher was fair game for our techniques and oh how the battles raged!
A lot has happened and changed in all of our lives over the last 10 years. I am excited to reunite; I hope everyone gets excited and decides to participate and reminisce. I want to remember all the stories and laugh at how truly ridiculous we were.
Tuesday, 7 April 2009
Electric Youth
The other day as I sped down the tracks on the 4/5 express to fulton, I was sandwiched between a reedy, wheezing man and a rotund lady with a permanent sneer branded on her hard features when I was smacked hard in the face by the scent of what I presumed to be a Chinatown, imitation Chanel Number Five which was instantly followed by a left hook from an unidentifiable cologne that I prefer to call Red, which happens to be the color my eyes turn when whiffed. The trifecta was complete when an older gentleman shuffled into the car at Grand Central bathed in a spicy cocktail of jagged scent.
My instant mental response was anguish as I tried to hold my breath for extended periods of time, managing to make myself dizzy and forcing myself to gulp in mouthfuls of the tainted air. In my slightly loopy condition, I was dragged down memory lane to explore my own faux pas in my personal quest for the perfect scent.
It all started with a small white and black accented bottle of Exclamation, a gift from a suitor at the ripe old age of 10. According to my mother, I saturated my room with the elixor. I'm fairly certain that I wasn't very judicious in my future applications either! Sorry guys!! The funny part is that I found this chipped bottle with a little liquid swirling around the bottom in one of my memento boxes over Christmas! Ha!
I remember a few other perfumes along the way, my favorite being one that I never owned but managed to borrow a few splashes. I believe it was called Electric Youth owned by Megan Dunning (sorry, but you'll always be a dunning to me :)), and I performed a veritable manhunt without success. I really loved the smell of it, and it came in a totally 'rad' bottle with a neon pink sqiggle in it! (We were very cool if you couldn't tell)
The junior high years were a succession of plastic, fruity smells from Bath and Body Works, most memorably were Country Apple and Pear something. Pretty much everyone wore these, so most classes ended up a fruit cocktail of competing flavors.
Throughout the high school years I mainly wore Abercrombie, they had a scent for women that I liked, very clean smelling.
Just before my England and India trip I got Gucci Rush, which I loved so much at the time. It was a very strong scent and bit musky. This one was retired after that trip, too many painful memories tied to it, I think.
Also at the end of my time in England I picked up a perfume from the store NEXT, loved it, wore it until it was drained and retired it.
In college, I found a perfume from Ireland that I loved. I also wore this one until it was gone and retired it. I always really liked the connection to my cultural heritage that I felt when I wore this one; something about the smell felt comforting, like home.
I've learned a lot of lessons along the way.
I have found that when it comes to quantity, it is better to wear just enough so that if you leaned in for a hug, you would catch the whisper of the tones, and I've learned that it's unfair to force everyone that surrounds me to inhale my preferred smell and thus try to avoid very strong, overpowering scents. As with most things in life, quality prevales over quantity any day; and as my father is fond of saying, "You get what you pay for." And when I find something I like it, it is worth it to stick with it because it becomes a part of my story and the memories are tinged with the aroma, both good and bad.
I'm still looking for my perfect scent, the essence of who I am. I am open to suggesions!
My instant mental response was anguish as I tried to hold my breath for extended periods of time, managing to make myself dizzy and forcing myself to gulp in mouthfuls of the tainted air. In my slightly loopy condition, I was dragged down memory lane to explore my own faux pas in my personal quest for the perfect scent.
It all started with a small white and black accented bottle of Exclamation, a gift from a suitor at the ripe old age of 10. According to my mother, I saturated my room with the elixor. I'm fairly certain that I wasn't very judicious in my future applications either! Sorry guys!! The funny part is that I found this chipped bottle with a little liquid swirling around the bottom in one of my memento boxes over Christmas! Ha!
I remember a few other perfumes along the way, my favorite being one that I never owned but managed to borrow a few splashes. I believe it was called Electric Youth owned by Megan Dunning (sorry, but you'll always be a dunning to me :)), and I performed a veritable manhunt without success. I really loved the smell of it, and it came in a totally 'rad' bottle with a neon pink sqiggle in it! (We were very cool if you couldn't tell)
The junior high years were a succession of plastic, fruity smells from Bath and Body Works, most memorably were Country Apple and Pear something. Pretty much everyone wore these, so most classes ended up a fruit cocktail of competing flavors.
Throughout the high school years I mainly wore Abercrombie, they had a scent for women that I liked, very clean smelling.
Just before my England and India trip I got Gucci Rush, which I loved so much at the time. It was a very strong scent and bit musky. This one was retired after that trip, too many painful memories tied to it, I think.
Also at the end of my time in England I picked up a perfume from the store NEXT, loved it, wore it until it was drained and retired it.
In college, I found a perfume from Ireland that I loved. I also wore this one until it was gone and retired it. I always really liked the connection to my cultural heritage that I felt when I wore this one; something about the smell felt comforting, like home.
I've learned a lot of lessons along the way.
I have found that when it comes to quantity, it is better to wear just enough so that if you leaned in for a hug, you would catch the whisper of the tones, and I've learned that it's unfair to force everyone that surrounds me to inhale my preferred smell and thus try to avoid very strong, overpowering scents. As with most things in life, quality prevales over quantity any day; and as my father is fond of saying, "You get what you pay for." And when I find something I like it, it is worth it to stick with it because it becomes a part of my story and the memories are tinged with the aroma, both good and bad.
I'm still looking for my perfect scent, the essence of who I am. I am open to suggesions!
Monday, 6 April 2009
Come together
It would start with a change of atmosphere, perhaps a slight drop in barometric temperature, a surge in the air.
The taunting odor of moist earth would waft through the house as the first one would slip out onto the front porch to find their favorite perch. It wasn't long before another one would notice that the heavy wooden door had been flung open and light was spilling through the glass screen drawn to drift out and join the first to claim their spot. One by one, we would all follow the piper's flute to the porch to watch the sun as it gloriously lit up the expanse of the sky, igniting our imaginations and our dreams. Sometimes we would pass around the paper, sometimes we would chat a little about the day and the trivialities of life. Most of all, we were all together, drawn by a moment that we would never forget.
My family is large and full of life and laughter; through the years we have shared many moments from the absurd to the trajic to the serene, but some of my favorite were those spent on the front porch enjoying the stillness watching the sun go down. It was never a planned event, we were all just drawn from our busyness to sit, be still, and watch the immensity of a Kansas sky, filled with sun as it melted over the fields.
The taunting odor of moist earth would waft through the house as the first one would slip out onto the front porch to find their favorite perch. It wasn't long before another one would notice that the heavy wooden door had been flung open and light was spilling through the glass screen drawn to drift out and join the first to claim their spot. One by one, we would all follow the piper's flute to the porch to watch the sun as it gloriously lit up the expanse of the sky, igniting our imaginations and our dreams. Sometimes we would pass around the paper, sometimes we would chat a little about the day and the trivialities of life. Most of all, we were all together, drawn by a moment that we would never forget.
My family is large and full of life and laughter; through the years we have shared many moments from the absurd to the trajic to the serene, but some of my favorite were those spent on the front porch enjoying the stillness watching the sun go down. It was never a planned event, we were all just drawn from our busyness to sit, be still, and watch the immensity of a Kansas sky, filled with sun as it melted over the fields.
Monday, 12 January 2009
Most recent favorite question:
I love good questions, both to ask and be asked. I often think that we don't ever get to have the conversations that we like to have because we fail to ask really good quesitons.
SO here it is, my new favorite:
If you could do anything, with nothing holding you back or standing in your way, what would you do and/or who would you be?
I love this question; I've been asking all kinds of different people, random taxi drivers, waiters, whoever.
My previous favorite question, which I still hold dear is a bit more simple to ask but often much harder to answer is:
Why?
Anyway, I would love to know your answer to this question...
SO, if you could do anything or be anything without any restriction or limitation, what would you do/ who would you be?
SO here it is, my new favorite:
If you could do anything, with nothing holding you back or standing in your way, what would you do and/or who would you be?
I love this question; I've been asking all kinds of different people, random taxi drivers, waiters, whoever.
My previous favorite question, which I still hold dear is a bit more simple to ask but often much harder to answer is:
Why?
Anyway, I would love to know your answer to this question...
SO, if you could do anything or be anything without any restriction or limitation, what would you do/ who would you be?
Thursday, 8 January 2009
Trains of thought
I had a realization today while I was riding the second of my three morning trains...
Many of my most profound thoughts and meandering concepts tend to show up somewhere on the pathways of my commute. This poses a distinct problem, because by the time I reach my destination these thoughts have dissipated into the hazy mist of my memory, which seems to get hazier the older I get. I could take notes, but I greatly disdain this due to the fact that it disrupts the flow of thought and it also pains me to have to carry acceptable surfaces to write on that will not just end up in a jumble of illegible scribblings on the bottom of my bag.
This morning alone I had three separate ideas for blog entries, alas by the time I got here these thoughts were lost in the maze of mental archives.
I realize that if I sat here and focused my concerted energy I might be able to reach back into the fog and pull some of the concepts into the transitory present.
However, by the time the retrieval system kicks into action and delivers the appropriate thoughts, I always seem to find the ideas tainted by the time they have spent in the refrigeration system and I am far less pleased than when they felt fresh and exciting and new.
I think I need a better strategy; or a better mental storage system. :)
Any thoughts?
Many of my most profound thoughts and meandering concepts tend to show up somewhere on the pathways of my commute. This poses a distinct problem, because by the time I reach my destination these thoughts have dissipated into the hazy mist of my memory, which seems to get hazier the older I get. I could take notes, but I greatly disdain this due to the fact that it disrupts the flow of thought and it also pains me to have to carry acceptable surfaces to write on that will not just end up in a jumble of illegible scribblings on the bottom of my bag.
This morning alone I had three separate ideas for blog entries, alas by the time I got here these thoughts were lost in the maze of mental archives.
I realize that if I sat here and focused my concerted energy I might be able to reach back into the fog and pull some of the concepts into the transitory present.
However, by the time the retrieval system kicks into action and delivers the appropriate thoughts, I always seem to find the ideas tainted by the time they have spent in the refrigeration system and I am far less pleased than when they felt fresh and exciting and new.
I think I need a better strategy; or a better mental storage system. :)
Any thoughts?
Friday, 12 December 2008
Put your Mind to it, Go for it, Get down and break a sweat...
If you don't remember this episode of Saved by the Bell, this message is not for you!
Just thought I would send a little reminder out there to all my fellow holiday friends to enjoy the holidays and not over-due it; otherwise you might end of like Jessie sluggin down the go-pills!
I'm planning to take my own advice and chill out tomorrow.
Happy holidays!!
Just thought I would send a little reminder out there to all my fellow holiday friends to enjoy the holidays and not over-due it; otherwise you might end of like Jessie sluggin down the go-pills!
I'm planning to take my own advice and chill out tomorrow.
Happy holidays!!
***I really wanted to put the photo of the SBTB crew in all their spandex glory, but I thought this would do***
New Traditions
I'm a sucker for good holiday traditions, and I think they are important for families to have and to carry on for future generations.
So, I decided that I am going to create my own holiday tradition. That's right, I'm declaring the second Saturday of December as the Aldrich Family (Drake & I) Extravaganza.
This happens to be this Saturday, and I have big plans to wake up early and drink silky coffee, followed by a fun morning of making white chocolate dipped pretzels, which I love and haven't had in FOREVER! Followed by a luxurious day of cuddling on the couch watching holiday films, remembering Christmas' before and laughing at all the right places (Christmas Vacation! and Christmas Story!) I can't wait to watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Home Alone 1 & 2, and Miracle on 34th Street while sipping Eggnog and noshing on delectables! I also hope to review the list of gifts aquired and assess what still needs to be purchased, and to finally re-write the holiday letter, this time with some Drake input!! I hope that it is a lovely day
So, I decided that I am going to create my own holiday tradition. That's right, I'm declaring the second Saturday of December as the Aldrich Family (Drake & I) Extravaganza.
This happens to be this Saturday, and I have big plans to wake up early and drink silky coffee, followed by a fun morning of making white chocolate dipped pretzels, which I love and haven't had in FOREVER! Followed by a luxurious day of cuddling on the couch watching holiday films, remembering Christmas' before and laughing at all the right places (Christmas Vacation! and Christmas Story!) I can't wait to watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Home Alone 1 & 2, and Miracle on 34th Street while sipping Eggnog and noshing on delectables! I also hope to review the list of gifts aquired and assess what still needs to be purchased, and to finally re-write the holiday letter, this time with some Drake input!! I hope that it is a lovely day
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